• learnt, and reflected •

A lot of times, I learn and I speak of what I’ve learnt.

But little do I know, most of my conduct reflected the smallest degree of what I’ve learnt.

I learnt that everyone has their own personal problems, so do I,

And so we shouldn’t be jumping into a judgmental conclusion of a person’s character before understanding where they are coming from.

No person would cry, smile or be angry at something for no reason.

Yet, a lot of times, we see our problems being more critical than others, and so we put little effort in trying to understand and to welcome their problems into our loving embrace maybe because we are socially wired to think that “I need more help than you need my comfort”. Yet, if that’s so, we still don’t speak of our problems as if speaking of them is a taboo maybe because we are afraid of how others would think about us once our naked and insufficient self is exposed to the other party, or maybe, we just don’t believe that they are of any help.

Yes, maybe.

But what I’ve learnt is to speak of your mind is to reduce misunderstanding.

Relationship would turn worse when we start to place doubt on each other, to be dissatisfied with someone without telling them directly, and/or to form presumptions of the other party.

And what is being doubted or guessed might not accurately reflect the state of mind of the other party, and in fact, when we place doubt on the other party during the time when we’re being emotional, more often we doubt to their disadvantage and to our benefit in order to protect ourselves, and thus, to arrive at an unreasonable inference that is damaging to the relationship of the parties in matter.

When you speak of your mind, you reduce the risk of having others to unknowing triggering you, and at the same time, to lessen the possibility of others to misunderstand you. Also, by taking the chance to talk truthfully to someone increase the possibility of finding the right person who would be able to talk you through your problems.

Of course, all of us should reserve our respective judgmental thoughts with the intention of wanting the other side to feel comfortable or secured in sharing their personal stories.